Reflections from Reading to Edna
Micheline Mann shares her experience reading a memoir back to the author, in her role as caregiver and assistant.
COMMUNITY CONTRIBUTION
by Micheline Mann
Sometime starting back in 2001, through ongoing workshops hosted by the Bluewater Association for Lifelong Learning. For several years after, memoirist Glenys Stow coached an ever-growing population of local writing enthusiasts in the art of memoir writing.
I know this not because I participated or even knew about the workshops but through the many clients I serve through my business called FETCH (which provides pet care, concierge, and in-home senior companion services).
As I came to know each new senior client, I learned that many were committing their memories to the page. Is this what will happen to us all? We reach a certain age and kapow, we become authors eager to document our lives?
Each of these clients had taken Glenys’s courses and, inspired by her infectious enthusiasm, they felt emboldened to record their memories. One, Edna Burri, even assembled her many personal memories into a book and had 100 copies printed. She called it An Enthusiastic Canadian.
Edna is a locally well-known force of a woman who has had dementia for the past three years. She had a meaningful and busy career, raised two daughters and, with her husband, Tom, faced and triumphed over many of life’s hurdles and challenges. They did it together, fearlessly and with a bottomless well of mutual admiration and love.
One of Edna’s interests and talents was writing, so she joined a writers’ group initially inspired by Glenys’s work and guidance. Just prior to COVID, when it became evident that Edna’s mind was changing, Tom made the herculean effort to locate her many essays, assemble them into a book, and rush them to print before all of her fine writing and beautiful memories were forever lost.
The story thus far is enough to moisten the eye, but it doesn’t end here. Indeed, through a series of happenstance occurrences, I came into the employ of Tom and Edna just this past summer.
Amongst the many things I did to support them (cook, plan and host dinner parties, host family events, manage the kitchen, accompany one or both on various outings etc.), I also sat with Edna on Thursday nights when Tom enjoyed the rare evening away to play bridge.
Edna did not like to be apart from Tom. With him out of sight, her confusion and agitation accelerated, leading to feelings of anger and helplessness. She did not enjoy puzzles, colouring, or sitting by the television. Taking Edna for walks could prove problematic, as she would lose trust in me; feelings of being lost in her own neighbourhood would surface, and then we’d really be in a mess.
How could I both engage and distract Edna for the four hours that Tom was gone?
In my desperation, I picked up a copy of An Enthusiastic Canadian and began to read Edna's essays aloud to her. Boy, was this a bit of wizardry I luckily happened upon!
When I read Edna her own memories, it acted like a tonic. She smiled, was less agitated, and became so much more lucid. I would pause at some of the more remarkable anecdotes and ask if she remembered this specific moment or that. Edna would smile and reply that yes, she did, and then she would often elaborate.
These moments of reading Edna’s life aloud to her were magical, humbling, and bonding.
As Edna’s reader, I loved being immersed in her history as detailed in those pages, and I was endlessly entertained by the grit of her stories. It was even more gratifying to have found a way to bring some happiness back into her previously rich life. And she really was a good writer. She spun metaphors and well-crafted descriptions with beauty and skill. Edna’s writing evoked in me a longing for simpler times. I would often choke up as I read aloud.
In those moments, I could get away with reading three or four of the essays before Edna would be up and on the move again. But those were precious moments of peace and stillness while we bathed in the golden light of her rich memories.
As my time with the Burris drew to an end, Edna was less inclined to listen to her essays; she was vexed by a sense that she should be “doing something” and off she would go in search of a way to use her time in some more meaningful and active way.
As these things go, my employment with Tom and Edna terminated when Edna relocated to a memory facility in Collingwood. There she leads a different sort of life, one I hope holds some happiness for her. I know I will always remember those moments spent with her, reliving her life through her words.
But, more importantly, Edna’s 10 years of effort has left her friends and family with an assemblage of recollections to be enjoyed and handed down to future generations.
The act of writing her memoir gave Edna a focus for her innate writing skills, a place to house her precious memories and, in the end, the book itself was a gift of a calming tonic I could use to help ease her confusion and anxiety.
Who knew a memoir could do all that?
Editor’s Note: Although Edna Burri’s book, An Enthusiastic Canadian, was privately published, copies have been made available to borrow from the Owen Sound & North Grey Union Public Library.
Thank you to sponsors of The Owen Sound Current Writers’ Fund, who make these community contributions possible. Contributions from the community do not necessarily reflect the opinions or beliefs of The Owen Sound Current and its editor or publisher.